So what now?

So what now?

The passage of time is weird.

When I was a kid, I always felt like things moved. so slow. Eyeballing the clock for classes to end. Dealing with rejections. Waiting to find “the right girl”? Ugh. The 2-3 years between movie announcements and released? Eternity!

But now? Class is long gone. Dating is so smooth, it’s crazy to think it was ever an issue #humblebrag

“Haven’t you and your girlfriend been together for like 12 years now?” – Nick Dambo

Sequels are popping out left and right– and it feels like Furious 7 and the first Guardians of the Galaxy came out not that long ago. Hell, even the identity crisis that hit me so hard, plus the time in Japan, feels like a lifetime ago.

Turning thirty is kind of unbelievable. Not because I feel old– and I definitely don’t think thirty is old. I mean all the celebrity crushes I got are in their 50’s now, and I don’t think they’re old.

I think the interesting thing to note are how varied the focal points have been throughout the years. School matters a bunch until it doesn’t. Finding a good job carries so much prestige until you just need work. The little things you brush off as childish can end up being the best parts of your day.

I think one focal point that hasn’t really faded is the fixation on success. As I get older, there’s a trap of jealousy. Not so much on the actual success of others, but on their age. When I see people like Jon Jones (same age) or B.O.B (barely younger) it throws me on a trip. And there’s plenty of success out there that keeps coming from younger and younger kids.

Sometimes I look back like, “Damn, what am I doing with my life?” I still fall prey into dwelling on my past and missed opportunities.

But I was reminded by Anna Tsui that we “die” everyday.  We can live anew everyday.

We consume everyday (input). We shit everyday (output). And oh yeah, this isn’t a foreign concept to me. I’ve discussed it myself before via fitness:

 

Sometimes I forget. And, I guess that’s part of getting older.

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